I just realised something.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a Stealth Parody. The Stealth part is that it makes no reference to the film it's Parodying except in allusion and by copying scenes with a lunatic twist.

PLEASE tell me that I'm not the only person who has realised this!

Hip deep in landfill, infected blister, feel like I've been beaten up...

...I can has peace and quiet and relaskashun nao?

He continues to improve, and has now started to take His first steps.

He is getting very frustrated, but I keep reminding Him - it will be tough - He hasn't walked for nearly 12 weeks.

He is fed up with being in hospital and says He is only focussed on getting home.

Which, if things continue as they are, should be by the end of the week.

Then God help us all......

OK.

Post, as responses, words that are entirely new or have been gioven new definitions by you. Two lie below:

Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Guyvetch: A whinging complaint by a youthful man that makes them sound like an octogenarian woman. Refers to the whinge, the act of whinguing ion that way, and the whinger.

Can I just say that I hate sweeping roads with a brush?

Now that I have the control issues sorted, and have started it in earnest, two things:

Pro: Creepy! Especially the Intro Eyecatch, a twisted version of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." Oh, what the hell... have the video...



Con: And its a big one. The view takes place over the shoulder of the main character. This allows you to read ammo, health and other status from the lights on the back of his suit, but blocks a quarter of the screen.

This setup shall henceforth be known as the "Kibbitz of Doom."

David Beckham has injured his ankle and is now unable to play football!

Now, will we do the kindest thing and put him out of our misery?

Feeling guilty; Mum decided I was more valued making lunch rather than going to church. She wanted me at church today. Was pleased with her gift and card though.

Finger hurts like hell. Sawing through fingertip will do that. Haven't bled though this bandage yet, but on lookout for splattering; if so, will hold hand over gravy until I can patch up.

Need more caffiene and to think less in terms of Mordin. Having read his lines now seem to be thinking in his short, efficient, choppy sentences. Almost Hemingwayesque. Could be Rorshach. Either way, people are probably glad this isn't a sesquidecapedalian monstrosity. Can just hear Mordin running off polysyllabic creations and breaking brains. Rorshach would use it as another means of torture. I don't need to do that. I just need to stick to my puns.

Well, in all honesty, I just keep going until I either fall over, or find some manner of sedating myself.

Church tomorrow.

Dear GODS, will she never stop?

...are not a good combination.

The distal carpal of my left hand is now tightly wrapped in an elastoplast and a LOT of surgical tape. And it is the second such bandage tonight. (The first one did not hold, due to sanguinary issues.) Much worse and I will break out the superglue. Who knew a Fondue was so much fuss?

At least I didn't bleed into it- that wouldn't have done it any good at all.

I managed to get hold of Silent Hill 3 yesterday.

I had forgotten quite how nerve-jangling that series is. Restful sleep may not be an option tonight. Not after the Women's Toilets. Cubicle full of blood!

But well done for turning all the main character's dialogue into Valley-girl speak! It makes sense for her.

Now all I have to do is get out of the mall designed by Geiger.

Well a certain Master is starting to feel a whole lot better......

Whilst I was helping him wash his hands and face, and whilst the curtains were pulled round his bed......

" get your mouth down there and let's see if everything still works...."

He now wants to know if He can get a slave blow job added to his prescription!!

Oh it's good to have you back Master.

I've goty a piece of artwork I have NO IDEA what to do with.

On Tuesday night I was given a very impressive, framed, oil-painting. I was offered it because I have a connection to Lilith, as people who know me know.

I cannot hang it anywhere.

It's a nicely framed oil painting by someone who seems to know what they're doing. However, I'm not sure that they were in their right mind at the time they did this one. It's called </i>The Conjuration of Lilith</i>, and is entirely Celtic in appearance. The composition is AWFUL, the colours are skewed, the symbolism in it is just plain wrong, Lilith looks too feline...

It's HIDEOUS. I have looked over it repeatedly and cannot find ONE redeeming feature in it. Other than it may be a good paperweight. As far as the name goes, it could easily be called Summoning the Morrighan if one was feeling charitable. However, my gut feeling, from the appearance of the whole... thing... is that I should be calling it Whistling for Lassie.

Honour states that I cannot just bin it.

Taste and decency state that I cannot put it up anywhere! It's like the old children's rhyme...

I wish I had your picture
Wouldn't that be nice!
I'd hang it in the cellar
To scare away the mice.

After being asked if I liked the Simpsons, Family Guy, and a string of other questions of that ilk, and a few comments about "would you try it on with her?" and similar Masculine tripe (unsurprisingly, my answers to all of them were "No"), one important and odd question came out after that.

"Are you a sociopath?"

I'd like to think not...

This one's for you.


see more funny facebook stuff!

You see, over the past few days, on an ML I'm on, there have been some fascinating (read: boneheaded and illogical) posts made about chemtrails.

After one particularly tinfoil-hatted post about "attempts to cause pandemics" and "Satanic chemtrails", I had enough. I told them that I was delighted to find people with their feet so firmly placed on the ground, and that I had seen plenty of things that concerned me. But then I added the coup de grace. ( Video behind the cut, for amusement purposes )

Think they'll get the message?

My CRB check came through today. Astoundingly quickly.

And, in addition to that, it reveals that I am not a dribbling sociopath who regards a nursery school as a combination funhouse, meat-packing plant and knocking shop. This is all well and good, as I am not such a person.

However, I have to say that if I got this document as a prospective employer, I would be VERY SUSPICIOUS. It is clean. Remarkably clean. Suspiciously clean.

Oh well. At least it's the version with all the bells and whistles I need.

after 66 days, Master is finally out of intensive care!

He has been moved to a rehabilitation unit to help Him regain His strength and to help Him mobilise.

We still have a long way to go, but He will be home soon.

As for the other problem - He is sorry and I know He means it! Just have to work on getting our relationship
back on track.

Wish me luck!!!

I had no idea that there were patches of quicksand in Northumberland. I had even LESS idea that there was a patch just ahead of the fence that I hopped over.

I need a shower.

Ick.

"Pax mendacium est; fervor solum.
Per fervor, potior potentiam;
Per potentior, potior copias;
Per copiae, potior triumphum;
Per triumphus, catenam diffringemus.
Vis Manumittero."

I have to say that the last line actually works REALLY well.